Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
By Brené Brown
Introduction
In Dare to Lead, researcher and bestselling author Brené Brown challenges conventional notions of leadership. Based on two decades of research on vulnerability, shame, empathy, and courage, Brown argues that the future of leadership belongs to the brave, not the armored.
True leadership, she says, is not about status or control — it’s about showing up with vulnerability, fostering trust, and holding space for difficult but necessary conversations.
Vulnerability Is the Heart of Leadership
Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure — and insists it’s the key to courageous leadership.
Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is not weakness. It’s the birthplace of:
- Innovation
- Creativity
- Empathy
- Trust
- Connection
Great leaders are not those who have all the answers — they’re those willing to rumble with vulnerability.
The Armory: How We Avoid Vulnerability
Many leaders wear emotional armor:
- Perfectionism
- Cynicism
- Power over others
- Emotional detachment
- Hustle for worthiness
These defenses may offer short-term control, but they block connection and stifle innovation. Brown encourages leaders to recognize their armor and lay it down.
The Four Skill Sets of Courageous Leadership
Brown outlines four measurable, teachable skills that define brave leadership:
1. Rumbling with Vulnerability
A “rumble” is a real, honest conversation — where people show up, stay curious, and lean into discomfort.
To rumble:
- Ask open-ended questions
- Suspend judgment
- Replace blame with accountability
- Normalize imperfection
- Embrace the messy middle
Courageous leaders make it safe to speak truth, even when it’s hard.
2. Living into Our Values
Values guide behavior, especially under pressure.
Steps:
- Identify your two core values (e.g., honesty, learning, courage)
- Define them behaviorally — what do they look like in practice?
- Use values to guide tough decisions and feedback
Values become a compass for congruent leadership — when your actions match your beliefs.
3. Braving Trust
Trust is built in small moments through seven components (the BRAVING acronym):
- Boundaries – respecting what’s okay and what’s not
- Reliability – doing what you say you will
- Accountability – owning mistakes, apologizing, making amends
- Vault – confidentiality and discretion
- Integrity – choosing courage over comfort
- Non-judgment – allowing others to ask for help without shame
- Generosity – assuming the best intentions
Trust is earned and built, not assumed. Leaders must model it first.
4. Learning to Rise
Resilience requires recognizing emotion, processing it, and resetting.
Brown shares a three-part process:
- The Reckoning – noticing emotional triggers and naming them
- The Rumble – asking what stories we’re telling ourselves and checking the facts
- The Revolution – rewriting the narrative to act from clarity and alignment
Leaders must learn to own their stories — or their stories own them.
The Importance of Self-Awareness
Courageous leadership starts with inner work. Brown emphasizes:
- Naming emotions
- Owning your triggers
- Examining your stories and biases
Emotional literacy enables clearer thinking and deeper empathy. You can’t lead others until you lead yourself.
Feedback and Tough Conversations
Brown provides tools for delivering meaningful feedback:
- Be clear, kind, and direct
- Use phrases like: “The story I’m telling myself is…”
- Avoid shame or blame
- Lead with curiosity, not judgment
Avoiding hard conversations causes more harm than facing them. Leaders must create environments of candor and care.
Culture and Belonging
Organizations that prioritize bravery foster:
- Inclusion
- Accountability
- Innovation
- Psychological safety
Brown warns against toxic cultures of shame, comparison, and silence. Belonging comes from being seen and accepted without having to fit in.
Courage over Comfort
Throughout the book, Brown returns to a core mantra:
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
Tough conversations, vulnerability, and emotional exposure may be uncomfortable — but they are acts of generosity and courage.
Key Takeaways
- Vulnerability is the foundation of courage — not a weakness to avoid.
- Leaders must rumble with hard truths, not avoid them.
- Trust is built behaviorally, through boundaries, reliability, and empathy.
- Emotional literacy and self-awareness are core leadership capacities.
- Tough conversations and feedback are signs of care, not criticism.
- Courageous leadership is teachable, practical, and transformative.
Dare to Lead is a bold redefinition of leadership for the 21st century. Brené Brown challenges us to shed our armor, embrace vulnerability, and lead with courage, compassion, and clarity — creating workplaces and communities where people feel safe to show up fully and thrive.
